tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post4885209919017544592..comments2023-12-28T17:51:10.368-06:00Comments on Spiral Galaxy Musings: "Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer" by Riki WilchinsKaren Burnhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16803309172414793939noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-12381240190685460692008-11-29T09:42:00.000-06:002008-11-29T09:42:00.000-06:00Mindy- Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed this revie...Mindy- Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed this review. I saw that Atlantic article as well. I think it did a great job of capturing the confusion surrounding this issue, and the difficulty of making life-altering choices so early. <BR/><BR/>I'm glad that you & your kids are doing well, and making the lives that you want to live, and not those forced on you by others. That's worth a lot.Karen Burnhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16803309172414793939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-25424071173973180382008-11-28T21:18:00.000-06:002008-11-28T21:18:00.000-06:00I really enjoyed your review! I thought you might ...I really enjoyed your review! I thought you might find this article interesting:<BR/><BR/>http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200811/transgender-children<BR/><BR/>I, too, enjoyed reading more about your personal experiences. It took me many years to let go of the nagging voices inside my head from my high-powered female relatives telling me I needed to be more and do more than "just" be a mother and wife. I still have to do that in regards to adopting or fostering children in the future, because most of our family think we have more than enough children.<BR/><BR/>Seeing them grow has been very interesting. One of my boys has always been extremely feminine. He used to love to wear his sister's dresses and princess sandals and had a very effeminate nature. It has since subsided a lot and now he's just exceptionally sweet. <BR/><BR/>He reminded me that girls don't monopolize the sweetness market. He has a place in the family and different siblings to relate to, and as time goes on, he continues to establish his individuality. Thankfully I'm married to a man who does not buy into clearly defined gender identities. A boy like ours would have trouble with a parent who did.Mindy Goorchenkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05818946142482561957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-27275994188872227082008-08-19T13:45:00.000-05:002008-08-19T13:45:00.000-05:00Riki - Thanks so much for reading my review! I'm g...Riki - Thanks so much for reading my review! I'm glad that you got to see how much your book impacted me. <BR/><BR/>I will absolutely try to get my hands on a copy of "Read My Lips." Since I've become more aware of these issues, I've been looking for memoirs as a way to understand them more deeply and personally, and I'm looking forward to reading yours.Karen Burnhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16803309172414793939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-77176971090187436962008-08-16T10:10:00.000-05:002008-08-16T10:10:00.000-05:00Hi Karen,Thanks for the thoughtful review. I love ...Hi Karen,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the thoughtful review. I love that it generated all those comments. "-) I agree with you that I did not really offer a path forward on "what to do about it," except what I myself am doing about it. Partly, this is my natural postmodern shyness about telling everyone what the new TRUTH is that we all must acknowledge. Probably there are many things that must be done. Partly, it's that I think we (or at least I) don't know entirely what to do yet. While postmodernism may be a great toolkit for analyzing and deconstructing gender, it lacks any tools for constructing something new. Intentionally, since it sees new answers and wholes as oppressive. This has left gender rights with a lot of questions and not too many answers. I think we are still in a proces of discovery, in which and the destination is still hidden. But my, what an interesting (and necessary!) journey. <BR/><BR/>Riki Wilchins<BR/><BR/>PS. I really do hope you try "Read My Lips." "Queer Theory" was my serious textbook-like effort. I was able to have a lot more fun with RML -- much more sarcastic - humourous - personal. BTW: There are also a lot of great new voices the "GenderQueer" anthology.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-16839383614373736232008-04-20T11:18:00.000-05:002008-04-20T11:18:00.000-05:00Yes, Karen, we're getting there a few days early a...Yes, Karen, we're getting there a few days early and staying a few days after. We'd love to spend some extra time with you and your husband and get to know you. Gary Wolfe tells me that you and I are the only two Americans in the class, by the way, so between your Texas accent and my Chicago one, we'll definitely be noticeable.<BR/><BR/>I'm pretty darned excited myself!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-89143131001736073672008-04-20T09:50:00.000-05:002008-04-20T09:50:00.000-05:00Terry- thanks for your comments! It's nice to know...Terry- thanks for your comments! It's nice to know this sort of thing isn't terribly unique. Probably, it's pretty common. Speaking of the generation gap, I think my mother got caught by the stricter social expectations of yesteryear. She's a lot like me - really smart, kind of introverted, really competent and impatient with inefficiency. She always wanted to be a serious historian or archaeologist, but because of the gender expectations of the time, she ended up a housewife. It's really sad, because she's a deeply unhappy woman, and if she'd been born now I think she wouldn't be.<BR/><BR/>Although you've had one problem I never have: getting hit on. I think that between being petite and androgynous and being an engineer, I fall into everyone's "asexual" category, and it's never been an issue for me. It helps that most engineers wouldn't know how to make a pass at a woman if you gave them an instruction manual. I can imagine it being a much bigger problem with other professionals, and getting old *really* fast. <BR/><BR/>I've read two more of Wendy's recommendations: "Hopeful Monsters" and "A Real Girl." Neither of them were as resonant with me, although they're both fine. BTW: the "Cognitive Agenesis" story is not in a book called "Render Unto Chaos." It's in an anthology titled "The James Tiptree Jr. Awards Anthology Vol. II" by the same editors. <BR/><BR/>I think we're staying in the same hotel in London. Will you be staying around after the Masterclass? My husband and I will be there for another week and a half or so to see the sights. I'm really looking forward to this!Karen Burnhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16803309172414793939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-23925099568408279582008-04-19T13:00:00.000-05:002008-04-19T13:00:00.000-05:00Karen, I'm definitely looking forward to getting t...Karen, I'm definitely looking forward to getting to know you at the SF master class. We have a lot in common, even though we're a generation apart.<BR/><BR/>My experience has been in law rather than the hard sciences, but it has been very similar. I've always been very bookish (and very smart), and ostracized accordingly. I was a debater throughout high school and college, which was a male dominated activity (to say the least). I got used to being the only woman in the room -- so much so that I didn't even notice the one night, after a day of college debate, when we wound up in a gay bar for a drink afterwards (a bar chosen in error, obviously).<BR/><BR/>I never wanted children, and I've always hated being female. Not in the sense of feeling like I was born in the wrong body, but in the sense that my whole life would have been a lot easier had I been born male: success would have come to me much more easily, I'm convinced. I got very tired of passes from male lawyers, condescending comments from other male lawyers, and so on. Having a very female body has never helped.<BR/><BR/>I've yet to start my reading (bad Terry!), but you've given me a kick in the pants with this post. Thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-62726762946628723222008-04-16T15:15:00.000-05:002008-04-16T15:15:00.000-05:00Interesting review. I like the way you personaliz...Interesting review. I like the way you personalized the review with some insights into your own gender experience. I not much of a "girly girl" myself, and that's always been a bit funny to me too.Mariannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10059462662260205800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-68953950235016938672008-04-11T14:13:00.000-05:002008-04-11T14:13:00.000-05:00I have to give credit to Wendy Pearson for recomme...I have to give credit to Wendy Pearson for recommending this: it was part of her reading list for the SF Masterclass in June.Karen Burnhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16803309172414793939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573136768377847579.post-55150014487562366412008-04-11T13:20:00.000-05:002008-04-11T13:20:00.000-05:00OK, another book I obviously need to read. Thank y...OK, another book I obviously need to read. Thank you!Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09328347167113836522noreply@blogger.com